It was 2007 the biggest storm was coming any moment . I had to go to bed. I was bored and it has only been an hour . I had to wait for everyone to fall asleep. It has been 5 hours and I can hear nothing. It was so scary but I heard a bang noise as I ran to the living room to see who it was . If people break into my house I slowly creep up on him. I try to get on the light and I say who are but it was my mate from school. “Why did you hit me? “ said James . I had to make sure no one was in here so I could watch the biggest storm “that is so dump let go of the scary old place . It was dark, you could hardly hear anything I had fear in my eye. I was all alone. I had no idea where James went but then I saw a small house it had a lock I bang the as hard as I can but could is a key up top of the podcast I use everything I had tape, rope,and a broom stick. As I built whatever I was building, James got me goosebumps.
“What are you doing “ am building something to get up there “why”. There is a key up there for that small house so James tried to find something so he fell in the trap and went after him. And this looks like the Stadium but more fixed and clean . James ! James ! as I said his name people tried to pull me and said ``shh I got taken they said “shh you are going to die out there” how if they touch you they are gone as I saw James go away too . fell hard I tried to ..ran but I saw the same people run to them but didn't they keep going away when they went away . Then I can see the light I touch. It went on my bed. It was morning. I saw James had seen something last night, “No, I was sleeping last night, why” ? said James I think in my dream everything just happened that day .
Your story starting sentence dragged me in,but your words are going across the page Sione.Can you fix it please so it goes downwards?.I can't wait to read it all.
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